Today has not been as I anticipated. I woke up at 5:00 and felt like I should get up and read and pray but I didn't. I laid in bed bouncing between thinking and praying but I confess much less praying and it set the tone to my day! It's 10:35 and we have only gotten through half of math. No reading yet. I am repeating to myself over and over - I will not quit, I will persevere! That was our memory work for last week! So, I'm not quitting but I am taking a mental break! Preslie is in her room til MY time out is over. You've heard it said that parenting is the toughest job you'll ever have - I agree! It also offers the greatest rewards. Homeschooling is not for the faint at heart either. There are times I find it so challenging, so rewarding, fun, engaging, inspiring but today, just plain old frustrating!
I have a strong will (i know I'm stating the obvious) but I'm telling you, this girl gives me a run for my money! Some days everything I ask is challenged. Today is one of those days. Some days I handle it better than others. Today not so much. I wonder if God needs a time out from me at times like I do with Preslie today? I see so many parellels between God 'growing me up' and me 'growing them up' - Do I whine and complain too much? Do I question Him and His motives? Do I obey the 1st time? Do I give all I have? Do I do God's will God's way or my way? I have discovered that usually the things that bother me the most in someone else are the things I struggle with myself!
God has been working on developing in my the fruit of the spirit! I have been praying to be overflowing with Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. I know that God is pruning away my flesh to reveal those in my spirit and it's a painful process. But I trust it's worth it! Without pruning, teaching, rebuking and challenging me, that fruit would not produce. Certainly, they do not come naturally to me but I know that God is working on them in me. I will strive daily to get there! I know only by His power will that happen. Obedience is not easy. No matter our age.
So, I will not quit, I persevere. I am going to pray with Preslie. I'm going to seek forgiveness from my 6 year old for losing my patience. I am not going to lower the bar for her though in her expectations. I am going to salvage today and move ahead ~ We still have plenty of opportunity today for success and one thing God has shown me over and over is to not let one event spoil the entire day. We are overcomers ~
I have a strong will (i know I'm stating the obvious) but I'm telling you, this girl gives me a run for my money! Some days everything I ask is challenged. Today is one of those days. Some days I handle it better than others. Today not so much. I wonder if God needs a time out from me at times like I do with Preslie today? I see so many parellels between God 'growing me up' and me 'growing them up' - Do I whine and complain too much? Do I question Him and His motives? Do I obey the 1st time? Do I give all I have? Do I do God's will God's way or my way? I have discovered that usually the things that bother me the most in someone else are the things I struggle with myself!
God has been working on developing in my the fruit of the spirit! I have been praying to be overflowing with Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. I know that God is pruning away my flesh to reveal those in my spirit and it's a painful process. But I trust it's worth it! Without pruning, teaching, rebuking and challenging me, that fruit would not produce. Certainly, they do not come naturally to me but I know that God is working on them in me. I will strive daily to get there! I know only by His power will that happen. Obedience is not easy. No matter our age.
So, I will not quit, I persevere. I am going to pray with Preslie. I'm going to seek forgiveness from my 6 year old for losing my patience. I am not going to lower the bar for her though in her expectations. I am going to salvage today and move ahead ~ We still have plenty of opportunity today for success and one thing God has shown me over and over is to not let one event spoil the entire day. We are overcomers ~
1 comment:
I love your transparency and honesty. Raising children is definitely the HARDEST thing I have EVER done.
God gives us what we 'need' to get through it- - sometimes what we 'need' is not what we 'want' though- - -like seeing the consequences our own shortcomings.
This first year will be challening at home with your kids- - -I will try to continue to lift you in prayer. The blessings always outweigh the hardships!
Call me if you ever need to 'vent'- - -sometimes just talking to someone else can help.
I hope you are able to be a part of the CC community- - I think it will be very helpful for all of us.
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