The Latest and 'Greatest' : )

On our drive to the cancer center earlier this week, Rick and I discussed how this journey we've been on has had many prongs of attack. Many weapons. Because we've been in a battle no doubt and we need effective weapons! Many times He has reminded me and enouraged me with this...Be still and know that I am God. He fights for me. And He's always victorious. 

Options unavailable in 2003. So, while the surgery, reconstruction and chemo rang a familiar bell, I have to say that all of those things have greatly improved in the last almost 2 decades. Fortunately, the research being done has produced wonderful results and the care is excellent. 

Although in 2003 I had 2 positive lymph nodes, I did not receive radiation because at that time that was not the standard of care. Almost 2 decades ago,  there would have needed be 4 positive lymph nodes. As the years have passed, that has changed and now they radiate if a person has 1 positive. And that's where I am. My radiologist oncologist said I was lucky that cancer had not returned.

I wasn't lucky. We knew in 2003 that God had healed my body and nothing was impossible for Him. He didn't need radiation to heal me or keep me well. And the fact that the cancer did not return was evidence. That cancer was once and for all time gone. 

The fact that a new type occurred was unconnected. 

My radiologist oncologist believes a day will come that anyone diagnosed with breast cancer will have radiation even without positive nodes. Why not!? I am all about using every weapon available to eradicate this horrid disease and I PRAY a cure is found soon. While treatments are fantastic and effective, cancer needs to be beaten.

One day I know it will be. One way or another. 

So, I met with the doctor and then went for the simulation or mapping as it's called. It was an interesting and painless process. They mark your body with BB's and ink and do the scans so a team of doctors can devise a plan for radiation that will hit the proper area to make sure if any microscopic cell escaped it would be annihilated. While I am confident my God has both supernaturally and also used modern medicine to accomplish healing - I am sure surgery and chemo have done it's work - I'm certainly all for that! 

After the scans done they tattoo 4 freckle like dots so that they can use those to line my body up with the radiation machine each time. Just a side note - if this tattooing was anything like elective tattooing, I'm unsure why anyone would put themselves through this type of pain. Not unbearable of course,  and I've certainly been through more painful things, but it wasn't all that pleasant. 

However, from what I hear, radiation is quick and overall easy, relatively speaking. Side effects nothing like chemo ones. PTL!

But, here's the troubling thing to me. The radiation waiting room is sad. Tragically sad. So many men and women whose bodies are under attack. I'm sure that for some, radiation is a last ditch effort.  Many weak, frail and unwell. And many of them, most I'd say, elderly. 

And equally if not more sad ~ everyone is alone. Thanks to COVID, no one can bring a friend or family member along. It's tragic. Inhumane honestly. Many of these people are in wheelchairs, elderly and unable to fully understand or communicate. It's heart-wrenching to watch. 

It was truly one of the saddest places I've ever been. And few things will put life into perspective like sitting in that room. So many of our troubles are truly light and momentary, but we treat them as if they are horrid, overwhelming and impossible. Not eternal. Not even permanent. And not to dismiss or diminish various types of suffering, most of our troubles will be nothing more than a distant memory within days or weeks. But, for these people, not so. 

The nurses are outstanding. Almost angels walking too close to the ground as Willie Nelson sang. I do wonder if some of these people caring for the sick and lonely aren't angels. Either way - They are kind and patient and it has to be emotionally taxing on them. Sadly, most of the people don't interact with anyone because signs that encourage silence combined with the masks subconsciously and directly shout at us all to be silent. Comply. Isolate. 

I cannot stand for this. I'm praying about some way I can bring hope. Make a difference in someones life in that waiting room. Be light. 

In about a week I will go to receive radiation everyday Monday through Friday. I am asking God to open doors, place me in front of people I can encourage and offer hope! Real hope. I hope I can interact on some level and be light in this dark world. If anyone needs it, it is the people in this waiting room. 

While in the waiting I kept having some unrest. 

Yesterday, I had a prompting to call my surgeons office that I couldn't shake. Rick had mentioned a few weeks back that Dr. F  had said I needed to come in at some point and see him. Somehow we missed gathering more information about purpose and timing. 

As I said, I'm not great at asking questions and I have to do better!

I called and talked to his assistant and she has me and Rick coming for a consult, confirmation with my doctor and I'm so thrilled about it. We will see him Tuesday. 

I'm grateful for a chance to have a second set of eyes confirm or adjust our radiation plan. It was just a stark reminder that the Lord orders my steps. His plans prevail. And I am so grateful for an amazing team of doctors guiding my care.

So, we are waiting for radiation to begin and confirm the plan of what it will look like, exactly. In the meantime, I am praying for those people in that room and that God brings hope and light through me and others along the way. 

Please pray that I won't become discouraged and afraid. The Lord has brought before me since early summer Deuteronomy 31:8 along with many other passages confirming this charge...

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

All for His glory ~

Mindi