How Are You?

Seems like a simple question. On the surface it is a simple question. Sometimes people ask it without really wanting or expecting an answer. Just a comment made in passing. I've been guilty of it for sure. Almost like saying 'hello' but occasionally, there is a hidden, almost deeper meaning.

That was true for me this past weekend.  As our family strolled through our local mall, we ran into a friend we'd not seen in quiet a while. We were visiting, catching up briefly and then her tone changed. She looked me right in the eye and said words with a much deeper meaning. She simply said, "You look great! How are you doing?" 

Now, I realize on the surface this seems like nothing out of the ordinary. Just a nice complement coupled with a sincere 'how are you doing.' She was expecting a response not just making a general statement. For a moment my mind went to the thought, 'wow, does she somehow know I joined weight watchers 3 weeks ago and have lost some weight?' Nah, that seems pretty unlikely. Maybe she liked my hair a bit longer than she'd seen it before. Nope.  Pretty sure she didn't even notice. What she really meant was "you look really good for someone with cancer' or 'you don't look like you're dying.'

Now, the fact of the matter is, I DO NOT have cancer. I'm not in remission and it's not coming back. I am healed of cancer. 100% totally and completely. I have been for almost 11 years.  On July 10, 2003 doctors removed all the cancer from my body.  As an insurance policy of sorts, I followed up with 8 rigorous rounds of chemotherapy and 52 weeks of another intravenous drug all to insure it did not ever return. I'm grateful beyond grateful to be cancer free!

I am writing about this for a few reasons. One I need to vent a bit. I'm not angry, but over the past decade I've grown to loathe being asked 'how I am' when it's really code for (by many people outside my close friends and family) what's the state of your health? I understand the curiosity and sometimes genuine concern.  But, also I feel like people just don't know sometimes what to say. Her comment wasn't intend to upset me in the least. 

I just don't want to be defined by cancer. I'm so much more! It most certainly is a part of my story and one I wouldn't want to deny. I can honestly say that without going through that valley of the shadow of death, I would not be who I am today. I'm grateful to God, in His faithfulness, fulfilled His promise to 'cause all things to work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes' and 'to never leave or forsake me' and countless other promises I can testify to as well. I love Jesus more than ever. I have been refined through this trial and He continues to love and work in me. 

But, it got me to thinking about others. What defines them? What defines me? Enslaves. Holds us back. Keeps us from being who Jesus intends. We're all described by others in typical ways. When someone says, 'do you know so and so...' and we all have some sort of image and adjectives we'd use to describe that person either good or bad. 

Too often, it's our sin that we're known for and it dawned on me how tragic that is for us all. Not only the one held captive, but for those of us who need to just let it go and let people be forgiven and restored. Or, just seen as we are in Christ! God does not see us the way people do. But, people are much less forgiving, forgetting and merciful. Man sees the outside but God sees the heart! 

One of my favorite stories in all of the bible is about David. 1 Chronicles 21:1-16. In his pride, David  ordered a census to see how many fighting men he had in his troops. He soon realized his sin (pride) and repented. The Lord told David he had three options to choose. He could have three years of famine, threee months of being swept away before his enemies and being overtaken or three days of the sword of The Lord - days of plague in the land with the angel of The Lord ravaging every part of Israel. I love Davids words. "I am in deep destress. Let me fall into the hands of The Lord, for His mercy is very great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men." ( I say Amen to that! )

So, The Lord sent a plague and 70,000 men fell dead. And God sent an angel to destroy Jerusalem. But as the angel was doing so, The Lord saw it and was grieved becasuse of the calamity and said to the angel who was destroying the people, "Enough! Withdraw your hand." That is our God! Mercy. Love. 

My encounter last weekend was followed by a wonderful visit with a friend I'd not seen in far too long. I think she probably gets asked 'how are you?' and maybe feels the same thing I feel. Her story is different but the aftermath is no doubt similar. Her family had been through a deeply painful and personal event a few years prior. They are doing well. Thriving and healing. God has forgiven and restored. Unfortunately, too many people have not. They are still known by and defined by the sin that nearly destroyed them. Still enslaved by it where others are concerned, but not where God is concerned. People like to make sure we pay long enough and it's never really enough, is it? There is not often complete restoration. It should not be so.

But I am grateful God isn't like that. I see my friend not as she once was, but as evidence of God's miracle working power in her life and that of her family. 

I'm grateful that on the cross Jesus died and paid the penalty of my sin. And yours. Through his death and resurrection He paid it all. Jesus + nothing = everything!