Life has been a bit on rewind the past month. Or has it been on pause? I don't know yet. Maybe it's a combination of both. It's not every day all four of our children are under one roof and most definitely not for a full month. I try and press pause on some moments while all the while trying to savour and enjoy the moment we're in and the moments to come. In all honestly, there have been moments I wanted to fast forward. But, there have been moments I've wanted to rewind too.
Mama's do something I"m not sure others do - hiding in our hearts the memories made along the way. A colliding of past, present and future. Not perfection. Not without adjustments. But, sprinkled with laughter and tears. Relationships deepened. Conversations abundant and the constant realization that it's only temporary. But not over for good.
In the quiet of this morning I look around and felt God whisper to me, "Take it in. All of it. See it as I do. A beautiful mess." Because, the truth is, I'm gonna miss this. I'm going to want it back. But the beauty I've embraced is that today, it's here. They are here. I get to savour it and be grateful for these amazing people I get to go through life with. I'm so glad I didn't wait too long to realize it and have instead enjoyed it. Appreciated it. Been thankful for it.
Hunter pulls the chair out from it's regular place and it is his spot. In a few days, he'll be back at OSU and this chair will be moved to it's regular place in the room. I'll walk by and miss seeing it out of place.
Every day Preslie hangs her coat on her chair at the table. A little reminder, she's here!
I don't know how Kyleigh comes out looking so put together ~ but she does. I'm reminded that this time next year, this room will be tidy, clutter free, shut drawers and my girl will be walking out of a bathroom, much like this, in another town. I'm going to miss this - all of it.
These shoes and cap have sat on Addi's desk for many days. They'll be here when she's ready for them. This is a oxymoron for sure - She's our neat one but these two things are so her!
I like a tidy house. I like order and things put away. But, maybe it's age or maturity or wisdom that's taught me to savour the moments. I think somehow having an 11 year gap between the oldest and youngest has been one of the greatest gifts I've received. I see how fleeting time is. I know the days are long and the years are short. So, I don't really care that our house doesn't look like a photo from Southern Living Magazine. Someday it might but that'll just mean there are no birds in our nest.
My dad gave mom some great advice that I overheard on more than one occasion. I can still hear his voice when he'd say, "Ellie, one of these days your house will be clean and your kids will be gone."
No thanks - I'll take the beautiful mess!
No comments:
Post a Comment