Socially Speaking

I have such a tension with social media that makes me feel restless. I deleted Instagram a year ago and I just rarely even think about it anymore. Nothing happened. Nothing was wrong. I enjoyed parts of it, but not enough to keep it. For me, it wasn’t the best use of my time. 

What I’ve discovered is something I truly do love and appreciate. Getting pictures or screenshots personal to me from friends and family. It’s like my own personal social site and more than that, it’s relational somehow. Just being thought of, someone being intentional to send it to me personally. It may seem small and silly, but knowing someone wants to share something 1-1 is meaningful. It makes you feel seen.

I still remember making those valentine boxes and opening each card to see who singed their name, or gave the extra special candy, or the subtle card that let you know you weren’t ordinary in their lives. In this world of social media sometimes people can feel invisible and we become numb or just accustomed to the likes, and general comments. We feel ordinary. 

I still jump on facebook. It’s fun to see the updates from friends I’ve made along the way. I enjoy seeing highlight reels from time to time and getting to stay up with what’s happening with my friends I can’t or don’t get to see in real life. 

But, there’s an interesting thing I’ve observed recently on TikTok and it’s bothersome to me ~ there’s a great deal of pressure to be an influencer, which seems to be the goal of TikTok users. I am most definitely a spectator only. But, for those who are wanting to be more than that, there is a great deal of pressure to keep up, meet complete and total strangers expectations and it’s costing people their sanity. Their piece of mind is at stake and for what?!

It’s a weird world. People are so fragile in so many ways. Yet, so much strength and under it all, there seems to be a real need and desire to be seen. To be known. Heard. Cared about. To feel important and to matter. 

Life is so strange and yet, so beautiful if you see it that way. Today is the day of love. There will be lots of flowers, chocolates and dinner dates. And there will not.

My dad always made sure I had a box of candy and a card from him on Valentine’s Day. Right alongside what he got for his bride. And it always made me feel special and loved.  He was the only male to every do that for me on Valentines until I met Rick. 

Yet, Rick’s never sent me flowers. Not in 33 years. I’m not mad about it.  What he has done for 33 years is picked flowers from our garden and arranged them in a vase more times than I can count. He has picked up flowers and brought them to me, carefully cutting the stems at the angle, placing them into a vase and sitting them where I can enjoy them, being reminded he loves me. Not just on February 14. He loves me that way all through the year. This week he brought me flowers twice so I can have one vase on my vanity and a vase in the kitchen.  

And our son copies that. About a year ago he walked in the house with 2 bouquets of flowers he’d hand picked outside our house. One was bigger and they were both beautiful. He handed me the one bouquet and prepared for his bride the other and my heart swelled because he was doing for her, what his dad always did for me. He was watching and imitating. And while i loved he brought me flowers, just as he had as a little boy, I was so thankful he was doing that for his wife. 

And I hope our girls always felt loved on Valentines and every other day by a dad who saw them, loved them and cared for them and I’m thankful he was their very first Valentine. 

What I’ve also discovered is that more than any human is able to, I am dearly loved by the God of all creation. And so are you. Scripture tells us in Psalm 22 that He delights in us. For no other reason than He loves us because we are His. 

I know this feeling, this truth, in part at least because I’ve been given the gift of motherhood. When our first child was born and the doctor laid him on my tummy with his head over my heart I felt pure love and delight in this baby. Simply because he was mine. He’d done nothing to make me love him except be mine. And I’ve felt that 3 more times and it pales in comparison to the way our God loves us - simply because we’re His.

So, life is hard. Relationships are messy. But, we are deeply loved by God and on this day of love, let’s let the people we know and love hear it. Send that picture or funny to a friend directly rather than post it publicly, if even for just one day. And hand deliver someone flowers. Give a hug and don’t let today be the only day you tell those people you love those words we all long to hear - I love you!