Road Trips

I've had children at home for the past 28 years. Beyond a few moments I'm rarely at home alone. Additionally, I'm rarely in the car alone. It takes some getting used to, being alone. I like to be alone some and it's not a lonely alone. That I fear, is something much harder to adjust. 

This year having our youngest in school away from home during the morning hours I've found myself alone at home and in the car for extended periods of time. I find myself wandering most mornings unsure of how to navigate and use the time.

I just don't have a rhythm, yet. 

I find myself in an unfamiliar world with a cancer diagnoses and doctor appointments in a world of COVID. Navigating them on my own more times than not, can and is at times, hard ~ Frightening even. As I lay inside that CT machine I said passages that came to mind and fought the thoughts of my own mind. And I thanked God for modern medicine, sweet medical techs who make it less intimidating and for the courage to walk the road.  

Driving is easier because I often listen to music or podcasts of my favorite pastors. There will be a great deal more driving in the weeks to come as I drive to Tulsa for radiation each day. But, driving is somehow less isolating. 

On my way to the appointment I listened to a podcast and on the way back I planned to stream some music from my phone. "Beautiful Surrender" had been on my mind all morning. Surrendering my time and filling my mind and heart with truth on the drives - fixing my eyes and renewing my mind ~ I know it's the best choice. 

The voices in our world are strong, loud and pushy.  I have to be careful that I don't let the voices confuse and become dominant, drowning out His voice. 

He calls His own sheep by name and leads hem out. When He has brought out all His own, He goes ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice. John 10

I opened the music app and what came up atomically was "Abba" and below the title was the album name "Beautiful Surrender" and it stopped me in my tracks. I hadn't played a song from that playlist in quite a while. There was no logical reason it was what popped up on my playlist. 

It may seem coincidental, but I know it wasn't. Over and over, especially during the past 7 months, God has been so personal to me and in the details. In the still small voice kind of ways. 

It was personal and I recognized my Abba, Father caring for me. 

The Lord your God is with you, 

He is mighty to save. 

He will take great delight in you, 

he will quiet you with his love,

 he will rejoice over you with singing. 

Zephaniah 3:17

I'd never listened to that song "Abba" but I did and the chorus simply says, "I belong to you" and those simple words carry a great message and because I belong to Him, I can rest and know that He is carrying me. He is caring for me and in His hand ~ I am safe.